Issue 174 | February 2022

Feb 3, 2022

In this issue...

  • Exexutive Committee report
    An update from John Somerville about Covid planning and the DFA position on He Waka Eke Noa (HWEN).
  • Expanding the geographic markets for New Zealand velvet
    As the New Zealand velvet market remains firm, the industry’s largest healthy food partner, Korea Ginseng Corp (KGC), continues its global growth strategy of its velvet products.
  • New Zealand Venison showcased at the world’s biggest trade show 
    First Light venison is being showcased, alongside other premium New Zealand food and beverage products, at the World Expo in Dubai.
  • NAIT farmer levy consultation
    OSPRI is consulting on completing current work on the NAIT system, and additional funding is required.
  • P2P and a new programme update
    The P2P Advisory group has been meeting regularly to help develop what a new programme might look like.
  • NZDFA and DINZ positions
    Industry positions for the NZDFA and the DINZ Board are open for nominations.
  • In Case of COVID – Break Glass!
    In Case of COVID – Break Glass! | Help a Fellow Farmer | Reminder of DINZ recommendations under the traffic light system
  • Save the date for conference 
    At this stage, Covid levels willing, we are planning our annual industry conference over 10 and 11 May in Wellington. This could be subject to change if Covid restrictions make it impractical to hold an event.
  • 2022 MSD Photo competition
    It's time to get snapping again! Gather up those great shots you have buried, or head out on the farm with your camera and enter the 2022 MSD Animal Health Deer Industry Photo Competition. With a $500 cash prize, you won't want to miss out! 
  • Noticeboard
    MPI farmer survey | Postgrad looking for work | Information on the Good to Great programme | MetService Outlook - February 2021
  • Events
    Click here to see any events that are happening

Joke of the Month

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house - Mowing the lawns, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint.  
You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit - Shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes. 
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Bunnings to get something to help complete the job.  
Depending on your age you might do the following:  
In your 20's:  
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favourite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.  
In your 30's:  
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favourite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.  
In your 40's: 
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty, so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Bunning. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.  
In your 50's: 
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming, and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Gold Coast's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'  
In your 60's: 
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure. 
In your 70's: 
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Bunnings until the Chemist has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch.  
In your 80's: 
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Bunnings. Go to K-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door. 
In your 90's & beyond: 
What's a Bunnings?  Something for my garden? Where am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted? Who am I?   


Please note all events are subject to Covid-19 restrictions in place at the time of the event. Please follow instructions of host and/or venue.

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